Position Yourself for a Breakthrough—Self-Awareness is Key.
How to Follow-through When the Answers Become a Blinding Flash of the Obvious
A flash of the obvious is more than a gut feeling. It is awareness. All you have to do is follow-through to get the most out of it.
You’re a third part of this process. The process? Insight, expanded awareness, and truly being on the brink of a breakthrough.
You’re leading yourself to experience a breakthrough in personal growth. If all you do is jot down what you see as a flash of the obvious, you're following up on a lead.
The question is how do you take action on a lead?
If you don’t like writing find a way to communicate your thoughts the best you can. Or, record your insight so you can play it back, reflect on it, and take it even further.
Why? Because I have learned and picture a hunch, insight, or gut feeling like a fleeting dream. If you don't say something to someone, write it down, or better yet, take immediate action... it's gone.
I like writing and wrote down an insight which also explains why I feel so adamant about the follow-through.
This is exactly what it looks like if you were to take a flash of the obvious and write it down … (notice how it transforms into expanded awareness).I just saw something in me helping me understand me. Now! It has to do with communication... personal relationships, family, and friends.
It's not about control. Or wishing things could be different in how we communicate. None of that.
It has to do with caring too much about the quality of how we communicate... genuine authentic real communication (could I get any more real into that description? :) Plus, it’s not about every conversation.
The exciting part?… the insight! I now know where the desire for awesome communication came from and it has nothing to do with conversations happening today.
I can see “why” one-sided conversations have had specific meaning with little flexibility in my reasoning. Thank goodness for personal growth!
This has nothing to do with the other person, as you might think. Instead, it has everything to do with me. I was the one sided!
And so you know, what I call a desire for awesome communication today felt more like a need way back when. In fact, it was a need.
First Hand Experience of the Before and After Expanded Awareness
I truly believed what I wanted in awesome communication was out there somewhere... in the things I could learn and practice. From this perspective I saw a distance between myself and others. This is what I called this my communication gap.
About awesome communication, here’s to figuring that out...
- Quality isn't the right word—it's not about quality communication
- Brilliant or intelligent conversation… not what I mean.
- Personal leadership and influence… no, that’s not it either.
The right word has everything to do with presence. It's presence in conversation (now we’re getting somewhere… I’m beginning to transform… change my meaning… and experience new feelings supporting new beliefs which empower me).
Presence became an ideal when I saw it beautifully articulated in conversations week after week, for a whole year. If you’ve taken Robbins-Madanes Training or any training with Tony Robbins you know exactly what I’m talking about...
It was from those films and because of Tony Robbins I realize (and believe) I can do it too… because I’ve done it. And, already experience it in personal relationships.
Once you’ve done something, you believe you can do it again. It’s true. Take golf. When I first hit a good shot I knew I could do it again... without encouragement from anyone.
Plus, I was totally prepared to accept I might not hit another great shot for one, two, however many games. But that didn't stop me, in fact, I just kept looking forward to the next great shot.
Back to presence. It takes practice too. To put yourself in that place and make it an empowering habit.
I feel like a beginner. Because until I wrote those words... I couldn't articulate what I wanted and want to be experiencing.
I wouldn’t have consciously known the beauty of great conversations or that presence was something I could contribute to conversations.
The way you can tell you've authentically been present in conversation is from the good energy that happens during and after that conversation.
Just like the saying, if you want a friend, then be a friend, if you want presence in your relationships, then be present.
The thing is had I not realized what I was looking for—I wouldn't be able to practice being present so I could and can invite that back into my life.
That's amazing. This is incredible insight for me.
I feel presence is one of the first things you need to build understanding and trust, starting with yourself.
How do you be present for yourself? I feel it's when you pay attention to what you really want and need and follow-up with supporting action.
And, since you can't give away what you don't have—presence became important to me.
The why of presence? Doesn’t it make sense the core to healthy and wonderful relationships is presence? It opens the doors for understanding and trust.
Where the alternative is as a closed heart—not a cold heart—one that unknowingly stilts effective communication. I can see where I've done this after reflecting on this insight.
Right now I'm feeling the how of the why you want to be putting your focus on what you want rather than the things you don't want.
What do you think could take away from presence?
I thought about it and came up with obvious and not so obvious reasons...
Obvious: Overindulgence of pretty much anything. Common place is alcohol, eating, and smoking. What about cell phones?
Not so obvious, yet could be: Preoccupation. Worry. Anger. Frustration. Plus! What is it for you?
Not so obvious: When you shut down your feelings. Basically, you ignore your feelings and don't pay attention to the messages they give you. Zip zero attention.
Not so obvious: has to do stockpiling your feelings. Here the feeling, or real reason for something, is lost under a bunch of feelings that have nothing to do with what's really bothering you.
That's stockpiling. It makes it hard to deal with the real problem. You've got to feel from the top and work your way down to get to the real problem. Or issue. Equals, "it's not about leaving the lid off the toothpaste.".
All of this equals a disconnect. There is so much in the way—how can you ever just be yourself? Know what I mean? And, when you’re not yourself, how can you be present?
Solutions for the obvious things that take away from presence are obvious. Especially this day and age. How about solutions for the not so obvious?
How do you authentically be you? Because you aren't your anger, frustration, fear, guilt—or whatever dis-empowering emotion you feel. That's not you. It's not the real you.
I have learned we develop habits... habits of being the way we feel most of the time. Know why you feel this way. Is it habit? If it is, what could you do to change it?
Shutting down your feelings (not feeling your feelings) gets in the way of presence every time. It gets in the way of meaningful communication each and every single time.
The alternative choice is to feel your feelings and take new action so you feel something different. This is empowering yourself to feel how you want to feel.
Stockpiling your feelings... the real issue for me had nothing to do the feelings I had piled up on top of each other.
When you get to the core of your issue you definitely feel "Aha!"– it makes perfect sense. It's simple and there's nothing confusing about it. I made it confusing. I covered it up for a long time.
Would you like an awesome resource? It’s in Tony Robbins’ book Awaken the Giant Within Chapter 11: The Ten Emotions of Power.
I went from believing 100% I was in a communication gap to discovering awesome communication starts with me. And, found presence to to be the magic I love in conversations.
Expanded awareness works! A flash of the obvious and taking it a step further helps you see exactly what you need to see.
Golf is a great way to practice presence...
The great thing about breakthroughs in personal growth has everything to do with the experience, your experience.
Can you see the how of the why—with regards to focusing on what you want versus what you don't want—may require you to dig a little deeper? How expanded awareness makes it easier?
New question... can you see how it's sometimes hard to focus on what you want for any length of time when you've got so much stuff weighing you down?
When you're not present there's stuff... something is getting in the way.
I know... a work-in-progress, to be sure. Work worth doing though. Agree?
When you experience a flash of the obvious initiating a breakthrough… why not explore the insight? Cut through the layers and discover what you really mean… what you already know to be true for you.
One more thing... a treat in fact. Watch this short video and tell me you don't feel humbled by the end of it ; )
Are you going to take Tony's up on his challenge?... to capture two to three magic moments everyday?
See how an expanded awareness gets the ball rolling?... it helps you create the vision you want for your life.
This new awareness creates room for change. Positive change. It gives you a way better understanding of why you do what you do every single day.
Perception is everything and starting with you. Hey, thanks for being here! It's fun to share these insights with you. Hope it's helpful and gives you ideas or ideas to share with someone else! : )
Quick question. Like me, are you too working on your story?... the story you tell yourself?